5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? WHAT DID THEY SAY?? Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. 3. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. 11. 1. 85. How do you think that I am doing? "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. . It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Is my relationship status a joke to you?! I suggest you do a little soul searching. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Thats because my crush is a fictional character. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Privacy Policy. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Because Im awkward and ugly. 5. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. I think I am doing alright. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 9. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. 8. More like give me a sign that. It's Okay. 2. Youre worse. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. You want to make them laugh, not yell. 3. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Did someone leave your cage open? 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Usually, people live and learn. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! It could always have been worse. 1. Your hair looks great! Reply. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. This one is good. You just have bad luck at thinking. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 13. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Don Draper? When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 37. 18. You may join me, though. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. 1. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? 16. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 87. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. 77. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? I'm happy! What a miracle. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." I'm alive, whoa! Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: 3. Living the dream! Hanging on. At minding my own business? 80. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. funny response to are you still alive. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. 63. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. I repeat I am plural! Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. How do you want me to be? 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. You just live. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Could Be Better. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? 1. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Is your family tree a cactus? 4. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. (Explained). Holy s**t, you can see me?! My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. 11. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? I will leave that up to your imagination. Finnish with this conversation! I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Then they throw dirt in your face. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Is that a scar on your face? If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. 22. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. (Use a sexy tone). No one loves superheroes. But Ive also had better. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? 2. Living an amazing dream. All rights reserved. Impressive! They might even steal it to use in the future. 75. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. original sound - Tyren Sams. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Then the worms eat you. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Youll go far someday. 2. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Siri, why am I still single? Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. It can be good to just say it how it is. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 27. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. 24. a fate worse than death." Financially? 10. The police? Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". I agree, thanks for sharing. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. You dont need to say it. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Nowadays, potential mates need money. 76. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. 71. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. No, keep talking. 6. That's impossible. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 4. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Its too small to be out there all alone. 93. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. I hope you are at your best too. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Not Bad. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Im too expensive. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Your secrets are always safe with me. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Are you Jamaican? After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. I always root for the little guy. 73. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." 61. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once How did you get here? Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. You might just find one. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. The following two tabs change content below. 12. 5. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Hanging by a thread. 1. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". 2. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 79. 26. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Who told you that? | Are you surviving? Ah, sarcasm. "I'm alright, mate". I cant really complain, but I will still try. Well, are you? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. My only talent is not being in a relationship. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. . What's your sign? Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. I like being single. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Hope you're well". But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Life is up to something. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. But it can be funny. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? So, how does average sound? On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. WHY!? People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). 31. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 43. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Its going great, really! 53. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. The hottest single of the year is me. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. 41. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Have you met food? Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Youre a ground-hugger. Stupidity isnt a crime. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. I hope you like some of them. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Spiritually? Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Sorry, life. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 15. Canva. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". If I had a tail, I would wag it! Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . "See, I will finally make you smile.". Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 52. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. I dont know. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. But, they will grow up into a dog. Does the new one work any better? It must have been a long, lonely journey. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I was doing great, before you came. Still with us. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Oh, what a long list. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Dont wake me up yet. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 98. Because Jamaican me crazy! Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Heart-shattering. 62. *licks lips*. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Read more about Martin here. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day.
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funny response to are you still alive