Carl: This baby has a remote. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! She's mine! So, I figured if I doubled the temperature, I could cook it in half the time. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. Steve Urkel: I know! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! See more ideas about steve urkel, humor, urkel. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Rachel Crawford: Oh. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Pass the salt, Edward. Eddo. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! That's all. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Whoo! Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. And him. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. Seems I'm having all the luck. They help move along our sentences. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. No. To rob and murder? Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Eddie borrowed money from me. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. You had an accident. Steve Urkel: Could. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. Harriette Winslow: Harsh? He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. For that matter why isn't everybody? [laughs]. Can't see a darn thing. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! Have you taken leave of your senses? Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Cassie Lynn: Try me. Carl: Uh-oh. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Web. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? Waldo, you may go now. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Carl: You know, bowling was a great idea. The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Would you reward me with a kiss? Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Steve Urkel: Why, sure! I can turn you down without destroying your ego. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Got anything in the fridge? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! And we practiced for six minutes! Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. A small gastronomic goof up. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. She lived a long and full life. I won't be able to take you to the prom. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Easy Eddo. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. And I like the Red Sox. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Eddo, Eddo, Eddo! Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! No. Don't they teach Black History at your school? You're setting a bad example for the kids. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! The man was open all day! I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Why, how low can you get? I'm in big trouble! Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? I was not abrasive. Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. She just slipped and I caught her. It was your free safety. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. They just love juicy gossip. You need to get out more. If you cut me, do I not cough? Come here, let me give you some sugar. Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Carl: Overreact? I love you more than life itself. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Steve Urkel: Calm down? Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? [runs upstairs]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Steve Urkel: Okay. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? [He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. You kissed me. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Laura: By being born first. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Carl Otis Winslow: Now honey, it's really ok Harriette Winslow: No it's not ok, Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Newsflash, Eddie! [laughs] Bye! Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. No. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! urkel-steve. Laura: Sure. "Take out the trash, Edward." It's Monday! Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? "Family Matters Quotes." Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! It's to another restaurant. I'm not your personal doormat. That's one for the books! At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Three times X equals six. Who does these things? [Grabs and kisses her. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Then we par-tay, see no problem. Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Never snort with a hangover! [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Come here. I love ya too much to build you a dud! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. "Tomorrow, Dad!" How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. There is no Steve here. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! White . Alright. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. I'm on duty? More like The Repulsions. When are you going to the store? [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's the whole school! Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Like a moth to a flame. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Isn't that sad? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? I'm sorry, call you next week? https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Wha? [leaves]. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [laughing] Good one, Myrtle! Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. No phones. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. 12. r/Unexpected. The wind has chapped my lips. Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him.

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